


All I Want for Christmas is…Not You

by Starbird



Series: A Very RebelCaptain Christmas [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Abuelita Andor Ships RebelCaptain, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Romantic Comedy, Cassian Has a Lovely Family, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Denial of Feelings, Dirty Talk, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Face-Sitting, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Head over Heels in Denial Jyn, Jyn is a Grumpy Christmas Elf to a Mall Santa, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Playboy Cassian, Porn with Feelings, Romantic Comedy, Sassy leia, The Andors are Wealthy, it's the most wonderful time of the year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-10 23:51:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12922851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starbird/pseuds/Starbird
Summary: The Andors and the Ersos have always been close, but Jyn and Cassian have never gotten along. At the Andors' annual Christmas party (which Jyn has studiously avoided for as long as possible), Jyn gets clumsy and stumbles into Cassian by mistake. His ailing grandmother sees it and is ecstatic, thinking the two are finally a couple after all this time. Cassian begs Jyn to play along, because it would be mean to break an old lady's heart. Jyn grudgingly agrees. Christmas is only three weeks away. She can make it three weeks, right? It's not as if she has to kiss the guy or touch him or anything....Right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is all written, so I will be updating regularly on Mondays and Thursdays!

All it took for Jyn Erso to completely lose her shit was Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas.” Jyn heard the first few tinkling notes, and she burst out of Macy’s before Mariah could start warbling.

Jyn was not _simply having a wonderful Christmastime._ She was not going to _have herself a merry little Christmas._ And all she wanted for Christmas was to avoid the annual Andor holiday party – which she had successfully done for the past four years while she’d been in college. Her parents, both tenured faculty at the University of Massachusetts, usually traveled over the holidays for research. Dad was a physicist, and Mom was a geologist – who loved to study rocks anywhere warm. That meant holidays in the tropics or places like, oh, Hawaii. Far, far away from their home in Boston.

Far, far away from the Andor family.

Whom Jyn’s parents absolutely _adored_ , and Jyn absolutely _abhorred_.

Well. Correction: Jyn didn’t have a problem with Mr. or Mrs. Andor – she’d never called them by their first names and probably wouldn’t ever – but she _did_ have a problem with their golden boy, Cassian. They’d just never gotten along, for whatever reason, maybe on purpose, maybe on accident, and Jyn had avoided him at all costs. It hadn’t been difficult given his family’s luxurious life and all their travel, but no matter what, her family always, _always_ found a way to get together with them. For the last four years, Jyn had had the magnificent excuse of _Oh, sorry, school and all that_ while she’d been halfway across the country with absolutely no desire to fly back home to Erso/Andor get-togethers. The only time she had had been when she’d been dating Brad, another Bostonian who, it turned out, also didn’t like Cassian, and this was Brad’s most appealing quality.

Jyn had spent the entire semester being smug about it, and Cassian had had his nose out of joint and been extra difficult all that time as well.

And then Brad had dumped Jyn. She was still trying to work out exactly why, but it had been unexpected, and it had hurt. She could only assume it was because she didn’t fit into his lifestyle, she being a science geek and all and he being a business grad student, or maybe it was because Jyn’s roommate at the time was hotter, and a month later, Brad was banging her.

Cassian was at least decent about the breakup. He called Brad an asshole, said he’d always known the guy was a prick with a little prick (which Jyn confirmed), said Jyn could (probably) do better anyway, and left it at that.

Jyn just got drunk on vodka and tried to forget about it.

As Jyn got in her car to drive home from the mall, she glanced in the rearview mirror. She did not look good. She looked pissed off and tired. In four hours, she’d be dressed up and fancy-looking, and she’d be eating ginormous shrimp with cocktail sauce, criticizing Cassian for eating caviar, and demanding to know where the bar was.

No, what Jyn Erso truly wanted was _a hippopotamus for Christmas_ , because she would use it as an excuse to get out of this fucking party.

 

* * *

 

“Jyn, you’re scowling again.”

Jyn uncrossed her arms and slumped down in the backseat.

“Darling, it’s only a few hours,” Lyra Erso said. “Try to have a good time.”

“You can always stuff extra food in your purse,” Jyn’s best friend Bodhi Rook put in jovially. “That’s your favorite pastime at these things.”

“Are Baze and Chirrut going to be there, at least?” Jyn asked.

“I think so,” Lyra said. “They always go.”

“And…uh…Kay is, too,” Bodhi said with a wince. Jyn groaned louder than she needed to. “I know, but he’s Cassian’s best friend.”

If Jyn disliked Cassian, she _hated_ Kay Tuesso. Get the two of them together, and it was unbearable. Baze Malbus and Chirrut Îmwe, also mutual friends of the Andors and Ersos, would at least keep things sane. Bodhi and Jyn had gone to school together and become fast friends, to the point that Bodhi had followed Jyn and moved to Boston after school. He didn’t have any family, was living off inheritance, and was happy to have an adopted family.

“You know, Maria really dotes on you,” Lyra said about Cassian’s mom, meeting Jyn’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “She gets you Kate Spade every year.”

“I don’t want fucking Kate Spade,” Jyn grumbled. “I’ll whack Cassian with a spade.”

“Javier always tell you how beautiful you look.”

“Mr. Andor just wants Cassian to get married and settle down and have a family. He thinks any girl looks beautiful – and Cassian has _plenty_ of beautiful girls. Is he still dating Shelley?” she asked Bodhi.

“No, they broke up,” Bodhi said. “Although I think they’re still fu – um, friends.”

Galen Erso glanced over his shoulder at the two. “You children.”

Jyn thought again about wanting a hippopotamus for Christmas, and imagined it stampeding through the Andors’ fancy home. “I think I’m coming down with something.”

Bodhi put the back of his hand to her forehead. “Yeah, you’re definitely warm. Definitely ill.”

“Knock it off,” Lyra said sharply.

Jyn gave up, crossed her arms again, slumped further down in the seat, and stared out the window.

The car continued to carry her to her doom.

#

Jyn was genuinely happy to see Mr. and Mrs. Andor, though after greeting them, her eyes restlessly scanned their home for any sign of Cassian. She couldn’t see him anywhere, and her heart soared. Was it possible he’d skipped out? Gotten sick? Gotten stuck on a trip for the family’s successful business? Jyn’s luck was never that good, but maybe her Christmas wish had actually come true.

Feeling gleeful, she moseyed on over to the food tables, sagging under the weight of the spread, while Bodhi broke off to say hi to Baze and Chirrut. Her mouth watered as she saw all the delicious food laid out – the Andors had outdone themselves this time – and she piled her plate up with the giant shrimp first.

“Careful, you’ll deplete the ocean,” a voice said as she was dumping cocktail sauce over the prawns.

Jyn’s heart sank, and she made a face. Turning and pasting a smile on, she said, “I didn’t see you.”

Cassian Andor returned the smile. “I was around.”

“Finding new prey?”

“I hardly call dating _finding prey_. Shelley and I broke up.”

“I heard. Sorry about that.”

“Right.” He began loading up his own plate, only his manners were better than Jyn’s.

Jyn stepped away, but her foot caught on the table leg, and she stumbled into Cassian. His arm came around her waist to steady her, and her face brushed the shoulder of his suit.

He smelled amazing.

Jyn scowled.

“You all right?” he asked quietly.

 _“Fine,”_ Jyn growled.

He still had his arm around her when an elderly woman swept toward them, exclaiming Cassian’s name, and wrapped him in a giant hug. She launched into Spanish, hugging him tighter while his eyes bugged out, and Jyn covered her mouth as she snickered. The woman was Cassian’s grandmother, and she hadn’t been back to the States in five years. She didn’t speak of word of English, and she had absolutely no desire to.

Jyn thought she was fabulous.

 _“Jyn!”_ she cried, releasing Cassian and now grabbing Jyn. Her eyes went back and forth between the two of them, a giant grin on her face. Cassian’s eyes went wide again, and he swallowed. Jyn couldn’t track the conversation, but her stomach sank. Something wasn’t right.

Cassian’s arm went around her waist again, and he smiled and nodded.

Abuelita threw her arms around Jyn again, stepped back, pressed her hand over her heart, and shook her head. With an _“Adiós!”_ and a wave, she pranced away.

Jyn spun to face Cassian, knocking his arm down. _“What,”_ she said, “was that all about?”

Cassian didn’t reply right away, and he didn’t look at her, either. “Abuelita is going a little senile,” he said. “She, um, thinks we’re a couple now.”

Jyn gaped. “Oh, no. No, no, no, I don’t think so. You told her no, right?” He didn’t reply. _“Right?”_

Finally he looked at her, his face a little panicked. “Jyn, she’s eighty-five years old, and despite how she looks, she’s not doing so great! I couldn’t very well tell an ailing old lady _no_ , could I? She looked so happy!”

Jyn let out a wail of frustration toward the ceiling.

“Please,” Cassian said. “Just for the holidays. She’ll be gone after that, and I’ll probably….” He swallowed. “I’ll probably never see her again. You owe me anyway.”

Jyn looked back at him with a glare. “For what?”

“I sabotaged Brad’s interview at our company after he dumped you.”

Now Jyn’s eyes went wide, and she gaped again. “Okay, _why_ …?”

Cassian shrugged and turned back to the buffet. “As I said: he’s a prick. He didn’t deserve to work for us.”

“You don’t even like me.”

“Please. It had nothing to do with you.”

Jyn grabbed the tongs and added more shrimp to her plate. Despite what Cassian had said about _depleting the ocean_ , she knew all the seafood the Andors served was sustainable. They were big conservationists. “So why do I owe you, then?”

Cassian just shrugged again and moved off, leaving Jyn glaring at his back.

So. She was in a fake relationship with Cassian Andor for the holidays to appease his sweet, dying grandmother. Christmas was three weeks away. She could make it three weeks, right? It wasn’t as if she’d have to kiss the guy or touch him or anything. Just make nice, pretend she liked him, all that. The Andors thought they got along great anyway. Her family knew better, but both she and Cassian had been faking it to his family for as long as she could remember.

So, how hard could this be?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn works as an elf to a mall Santa, and she does not like it at all. Of course Cassian stops by with his sister, niece, and nephew. They hash out the details of their “relationship” and make some ground rules.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has commented, kudosed, subscribed, bookmarked, and read this fic! Wow! I’m so glad you’re all liking it so much! I adore all your comments and how much you’re enjoying it. Thank you. <3
> 
> P.S. Have I mentioned yet how much I love Christmas?! :D I’m that crazy person who buys gifts year-round and gets the tree out the day after Thanksgiving and has gifts wrapped before December. Behind this year, but usually that’s the protocol! This fic has been a BLAST to write!!

The next day at work, Jyn was still scowling. It could have been a number of things that put her in a bad mood. Starbucks had messed up her chestnut praline latte, but she hated to waste anything and didn’t want to ask them to remake it. She was at work as one of Santa’s elves, and that always made her grumpy (she preferred her other part-time job, which was as a gift-wrapper, even if she wasn’t all that great about it and frequently got complaints).

Most of all, she was probably pissy because she was still, two days after the Andor Christmas party, Cassian Andor’s fake girlfriend.

 _We need to have a fake date soon,_ his text message had read this morning. They’d had to swap numbers at the end of the party. He’d given her a kiss on the cheek while Abuelita glowed beside them, and Jyn had squeezed his hand probably too hard before leaving, grimacing rather than smiling.

 _Thai?_ she had texted back.

_Sounds great. I’ll pick you up tonight at 5:30, if that works?_

_Whatever. I don’t care._

_See you then._

“I want a Nerf gun,” the six-year-old on Santa’s lap said, giving Santa a very intense look that was edging toward a glower. “Not a knockoff. _Real_ Nerf.”

“Well, I’ll see what I can do, Tommy,” Santa said with a chuckle. “My elves are hard at work right now. Right, Gingerbread?”

Jyn didn’t hear him at first, too wrapped up in dreading her “date” tonight.

“Gingerbread?”

Jyn snapped to elf attention. “Right!” she said. “Make sure you’re extra good this year, Timmy.”

 _“Tommy,”_ the kid said. He looked back at Santa. “Your elves aren’t very good.”

“Ho, ho, ho!” Santa laughed.

Jyn helped Timmy-Tommy off Santa’s lap, gave him a candy cane that he complained about, and sent him on his way.

When she looked up again, ready to help the next greedy kid, she saw Cassian, his sister Elena, and her two kids. Both were under the age of five, and were at least decent. Although right now, they were bouncing around and screaming, _“Saaaanta! Saaaanta!”_

Cassian locked eyes with Jyn, and she looked away. She picked up a little girl, smiled, and set her on Santa’s lap. Cassian was wearing dark jeans and a gray turtleneck sweater that looked so, so warm, and he looked…good. Cozy.

A little snuggly.

 _Fuck that,_ Jyn thought, and helped the little girl off Santa’s lap. When she looked up again, she was horrified to see that while Elena and little Sofia and Rodrigo had gotten in line for Santa, Cassian was on an intercept course for her. She cast around frantically for an out, but there was none to be found.

 _“Hola, corazón,”_ he said, swooping in for a peck on her cheek before she could get away.

Fuck, he smelled good. God _damn._

Jyn forced a giggle as Santa gave her side-eye. “ _Cassian_ , not in front of the children!” she said.

“Ho, ho, _hoooo_ ,” Santa said. “I think Gingerbread needs a cookie! Remember, elves have four food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup. Bye-bye, Gingerbread!”

Jyn forced herself not to clench her fists, and turned to duck into the little house at the back of Santa’s North Pole Wonderland. Cassian was waiting for her when she emerged from the back.

 _“Nice,”_ she said, yanking the elf ears headband off her head. “Don’t do that.”

Cassian shrugged and slipped his hands into his jeans pockets. “Have to keep up appearances.”

“Elena doesn’t know?”

“Know what?” he asked innocently. “That you and I are in the blissful throes of an early relationship?”

“That it’s _fake_.”

“On the contrary, she is utterly delighted.”

“You are impossible. No wonder you can’t keep a girl.”

He didn’t say anything, and Jyn immediately felt guilty.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I-I didn’t mean – ”

“So, tonight,” he interrupted. “Thai Palace is a nicer place, so, nice dress code.”

Jyn still felt embarrassed for the dig. She’d always thought Cassian was a playboy because he was rich and he could and he enjoyed it. Was that not the truth? Had she…hurt him?

Furthermore, did she actually _care_ that she hurt him? They’d always sniped at each other, but something bothered her in the back of her mind. Something _niggled_.

_“I sabotaged Brad’s interview at our company after he dumped you.”_

Why had he done that?

_“As I said: he’s a prick. He didn’t deserve to work for us.”_

_“Please. It had nothing to do with you.”_

Right. Of course. That was true. Of course it had nothing to do with Jyn. Cassian disliked her as much as she disliked him. He’d been highly critical of Brad after Brad had dumped her, but only because he’d disliked Brad in the first place. They’d run in the same circles – which Jyn hadn’t known until a couple months into dating Brad when she’d happened to mention the Andors – and Cassian had just never gotten along with the guy. Maybe Cassian didn’t get along with anybody. Jyn didn’t know. But actually _sabotaging_ Brad…. Cassian wasn’t a jerk. He really wasn’t. Sure, he was _kind of_ a jerk to Jyn, but only because they’d spent their whole lives not liking each other and being rather mean to each other. It was sort of harmless? Sort of not? But to actually undermine someone…because he _didn’t deserve to work for us_ …that didn’t seem like Cassian at all. Brad was smart, competent. Any company would be lucky to have him.

It didn’t make any sense at all.

Jyn was startled out of her thoughts when she felt Cassian’s hand on the small of her back. It felt…she hated herself for this feeling… _good_. It had been so long since anyone had touched her. Six months since Brad had dumped her. _Six months._ She hadn’t been touched, hadn’t had sex, in six months.

She wondered how long it had been for Cassian.

She wondered if he was as lonely and miserable as she was.

Again, she wondered why she cared.

She didn’t care. Not really.

“Let’s have some lunch,” he said, guiding her into the Cheesecake Factory.

“I really don’t have time for a proper lunch,” Jyn said.

“Santa can wait. I hear he’s a pretty chill guy.”

The hostess seated them, and Jyn immediately picked up her menu and opened it, blocking out Cassian’s face. She sensed his eyes on her and gritted her teeth.

“Jyn,” he said quietly. She didn’t lower her menu for a few moments, but when he didn’t say anything else, she did. He hadn’t opened his menu yet; instead, his arms were crossed over it, and he was leaning toward her. His expression was open, earnest. “I want you to know how much I appreciate this. I know we don’t see eye to eye on things – ”

“ _That_ is putting it mildly,” Jyn said.

“But this means a lot to me,” he continued on. “Abuelita really likes you, and she and I are really close.”

Jyn softened. “I know. That’s why I’m doing this. For her. Not for you.”

Cassian nodded slowly. “Yes. I know. Thank you. After Christmas, after she goes back to Mexico, we can forget this ever happened.”

Jyn flapped her menu up in front of her again. “We should set some ground rules,” she said, searching for the most expensive item. A fancy sandwich with some soup sounded nice. Dessert was a definite yes. A _giant_ piece of cheesecake that she absolutely was not sharing with him, and coffee, certainly.

“I won’t touch you more than strictly necessary,” Cassian said.

“No kissing.”

He didn’t say anything for the briefest of moments. Jyn’s chest clenched, and she told herself he hadn’t hesitated. That it didn’t mean anything. “Of course not,” he said. “What about hugging? Is that off-limits, too? You know we have to sell this. My parents think we’ve always been friends.”

“Oh, I know they do.” She decided on what to eat and folded her menu back up. After she set it on the edge of the table, she looked up into Cassian’s eyes. He was still giving her that serious look, and how had she never noticed how beautiful his eyes were? So brown and warm and – “How about we just stay out of your parents’ way? We don’t even _have_ to be with them.”

“They _want_ us around,” Cassian said.

The waiter came up and took their order, and after he left, Cassian continued. “They want you over for our gift-wrapping party, and then Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, of course.”

Jyn slammed her fist on her thigh. “We’re doing a joint Christmas now?!”

“Jyn, please,” he said. “We used to do it all the time when we were kids.”

Growling, Jyn said, “Fine. But _only_ because this is Abuelita. When is this damn gift-wrapping party?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: The annual Andor gift-wrapping party. Jyn is not amused. Abuelita pounces with mistletoe. Jyn is *extra* not amused.
> 
> Interludes between this chapter and the next:  
> [The Fake Date](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12953193)  
> [O Night Divine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12980922)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The annual Andor gift-wrapping party. Jyn is not amused. Abuelita messes around with mistletoe. Jyn is *extra* not amused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mrs. Andor’s gift-wrapping room is my dream room.

The fake date went well, with Jyn and Cassian finding some common ground and talking about it. They still didn’t like each other, but the tensions between them were easing. Jyn found that regardless of her feelings toward him, she didn’t mind his hand on her back, or him helping her out of the car. She was lonely, she knew, and the touch of another human being was comforting.

At this point, she bet he was pretty lonely, too.

The entire crew was at the gift-wrapping party: Baze, Chirrut, Kay, Bodhi, Elena, Sofia, Rodrigo, Abuelita, and the Ersos. The gifts they would be wrapping were all for charity for the underprivileged, and Jyn had been to this event in the past. It was always a fun time, regardless of the tension between her and Cassian, because she didn’t have to pay attention to him. It was all about charity and doing a good thing.

Once everyone arrived, the party got going. Mrs. Andor had an entire room set aside for this very purpose, and she had everything imaginable for wrapping: twenty different kinds of paper, bows, ribbon, enough scissors and tape (the fancy kind with precut strips you wore on your wrist) to go around, gift tags, glittery and metallic pens, and everything in between. Food and liquor were set up against one wall, and everyone hit that up first. Christmas music played quietly in the corner, and Jyn had to admit, as she sipped at a glass of chardonnay, that it was all pretty nice. Not so bad after all.

Abuelita sat on a couch and knitted, eyes occasionally darting to Jyn and Cassian, who sat next to each other at a table, shoulders and thighs touching. Cassian was utterly hopeless at wrapping despite being involved in this party every single year. Jyn gave him tips, laughed good-naturedly when he messed up, and he flicked a bow at her. He smiled as he did it, and he leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

Jyn smiled back – and then realized that she shouldn’t have been smiling, that it shouldn’t have felt good, that she _should have minded it._

Her smile faded, and she took a deep breath. Under the table, Cassian squeezed her hand, and he leaned over to whisper in her ear.

“We’re running low on wine. Want to help me bring some more bottles up from the kitchen?”

“Uh…sure,” Jyn said, her eyes on the ever-watchful Abuelita.

They excused themselves and left the room for the kitchen, where Cassian pulled some bottles out of the wine cellar. His sweater hiked up as he bent over, revealing the smooth, tan skin of his back, and Jyn’s breath caught. He came up to her, handed the bottles over, and his fingers brushed hers.

He retrieved two more bottles and set them on the kitchen island. “We have a few minutes,” he said, nodding to the dark living room. Jyn put her bottles next to his and followed him. He didn’t turn the lights on. They sat on the loveseat, bodies close again. Jyn felt something ignite inside her, deep down, buried.

“Abuelita is happy,” Cassian said. “She told me so last night. She just wants to see me happy, too.”

“Are you?” Jyn asked before she could stop herself. Cassian took a breath in through his nose and didn’t reply for a few moments.

“I guess,” he said. “I like the work I’m doing at Dad’s company – he wants to hand it over to me someday – but you were right. I can’t keep a girl. My parents are really disappointed in that. They’ve basically said as much to me. I’m just…not really boyfriend material, I guess.”

Jyn turned toward him, so that their knees bumped. “I’m sure that’s not true. You just have to find the right person. Right?”

He looked up at her, sadness in his eyes. For once, his face wasn’t neutral. He wasn’t a stone mask. “I’m not sure I ever will,” he said. “Did you think Brad was the one?”

“Did you think Shelley was?”

Footsteps approached from behind them, and they turned around. Abuelita had a gleeful smile on her face, and she said something in Spanish to Cassian before dropping something between them. They both looked down. Jyn’s heart lurched.

It was mistletoe.

Cassian looked up at Abuelita, and she nodded fervently.

He looked back at Jyn, whose lips had parted, whose heart was hammering. His hand reached for hers, squeezing it gently, as if to say, _I’m sorry._

 _No kissing,_ Jyn thought. She knew her hands were shaking. _We said no kissing._

But there was nothing they could do. They either blew their cover and disappointed Abuelita, or they just sucked it up and kissed. It wasn’t real, Jyn thought. It was just make-believe. She could totally do this. She could. She’d played Spin the Bottle before. This was no different.

Cassian leaned in, and Jyn closed her eyes and did the same. His lips touched hers, and then they both leaned back. Abuelita said something else, and Cassian quietly translated.

“She said it’s not a real kiss,” he said. “She said I need to show you I love you.”

 _No!_ Jyn thought, at the same time her heart leapt. She was so desperate for contact, and he smelled and felt so _good_. The ember inside her burned brighter, and the anticipation made…oh no…her core was burning, too, a throbbing deep down that she couldn’t, _shouldn’t_ be feeling, no, no, not at all, not with goddamn _Cassian_ of all people.

He was leaning in again. She had to do the same. She _had_ to, for Abuelita, sweet, sweet Abuelita, who wanted nothing more than to see her beloved grandson happy.

Cassian’s lips touched hers, firmly this time, and Jyn forced herself to get lost in the kiss. Her hand came up to his neck – _sell it!_ – and then slid into his hair. It was so silky, so soft, and the strands felt so nice between her fingers. She breathed deep, inhaling his scent, and she shifted closer to him on the loveseat. Cassian’s hand tightened on her thigh and moved slowly up to her hip. Her mouth opened to his and his tongue was inside it, and she completely forgot about Abuelita watching them. Her own tongue tangled with his, and she kissed him _hard_ , pushing the kiss as deep as it could go, and a quiet moan escaped her, and then she _did_ remember Abuelita and she pulled away.

Abuelita was gone. It was just them.

What had they done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on [Tumblr](http://thestarbirdfromtheashes.tumblr.com) if you want to come over and say hi! I've been writing little one-shots in this 'verse in between posting the main story, and I post my updates there as well as here!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian asks Jyn if she wants to make out. Like anyone would say no to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with an E rating, as promised!

Cassian was looking over the back of the loveseat, too, toward where Abuelita had just been. Then he looked back at Jyn.

“Do you want to…?”

And Jyn, of all things, nodded. They were both lonely, so why not?

Cassian took her face in his hands, and he kissed her again. She let herself fall back on the loveseat as he pressed her down, her legs spreading open to allow him to lie between them. He ground into her, so that she could feel his arousal, and she moaned as he kissed her neck and pulled at the collar of her shirt. He kissed her collarbone, and his hand drifted to the bottom of her skirt. Before she could even register what was going on, his fingers darted beneath the hem and were touching her wet underwear. _How_ did she get that wet, because she _wasn’t_ attracted to him, she absolutely _wasn’t_ , even though he was hotter than hell?

He didn’t move any further with his fingers, just caressed the lacy fabric _(why had she worn that pair of underwear?!)_ over her center and sucked on her neck by her ear.

“God, I want to eat you out,” he whispered.

Jyn couldn’t breathe. Her core was on fire, tight and throbbing and _yes_ , she wanted that too.

“Can we go somewhere?” she asked. “Your room?”

“Fuck,” Cassian said. “We have to get back. Can I finger you for a second?”

“Sure,” she breathed, dying for him to do it. “Yeah.”

He pushed his finger slowly in, and she groaned as she arched. “You’re wet,” he whispered, and sucked on the hollow of her neck. “You’re so wet.”

He rocked his finger inside her as she tilted up to him, her legs thrown over the armrest of the loveseat. They didn’t have much room, and it was awkward, but it felt amazing. It had just been _so long_ ; so what if she fooled around with Cassian? This fake relationship would be over soon (not soon enough!), and then they could move on and find _real_ relationships.

“Jyn, I’m sorry,” he said. “I can’t wait. Please, can I go down on you?”

“Here?” Jyn gasped. “Now?”

“I don’t fucking care. Please.”

She wanted that more than anything. “Yes, yes, yes,” she said, scrambling to help him get her underwear off. But he didn’t need the help, just yanked it down, shoving her heels off, too, as he did so. He gripped the backs of her thighs and plunged between her legs. She bucked up into his face.

“Sorry!” she exclaimed, completely embarrassed. “Sorry, it’s just been so long and that felt really good – ”

“Shh.”

But she’d heard about this. She’d _heard_ the rumors circulating around their friend group about how good he was at oral, what a great lover he was, how amazing he was in bed. The anticipation made her giddy and high, and her heart was beating so fast she couldn’t breathe right.

Cassian pushed his mouth harder into her, enjoying it like he’d never tasted anything like her – like she was a delicacy. Jyn couldn’t help but moan at the sensations running through her, and his enthusiasm made her delirious. He mouthed at her, kissed her thighs, and did what no one had ever done before: he slid his tongue right into her, drinking her up.

“You taste good,” he said, his breath warm against her wetness, making her shiver. “I could eat you out all night.” She clapped her hand over her mouth to stop any more sounds tumbling out. The position was still awkward, with her legs on the armrest and Cassian kneeling between them, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Is this good?” he rasped. “Do you like it?”

“Yeah,” Jyn whispered, her eyes shut and her head thrown back. “Fuck, Cassian. Your mouth is incredible.”

“Do you want my fingers, too?”

“God, yes.”

He shifted so that he could suck on her clit, and two fingers slid inside her. She whimpered a bit at the feeling, but the stretch felt utterly exquisite. Still, she was tense, worried that someone would come downstairs at any minute, feeling a little awkward that this was with _Cassian_.

He moved up to her face and brushed her hair back with his free hand. “Relax,” he whispered, kissing her forehead. “Let me take care of you. Let me…” – he dropped his lips to her ear and whispered on one breath, making her shiver and moan again – “…make you come.”

“Oh,” she said, the word drawn out and desperate. Cassian moved down her body again, his hand dragging down her front as he went. His mouth was on her again, and she pushed her body against his face. His fingers crooked up inside her, and she rocked herself on them, biting her lip and working to get herself close to the brink. He dragged his tongue all over her, _all_ over her, and she felt her wetness, felt the wetness he added, and she wanted to come so badly. His fingers rubbed and rubbed, and he sucked on her clit and then, _and then_ , she felt the tingling of orgasm.

“Cassian,” she gasped, reaching down to grab at his hair. She caught a glimpse of his face, tight with concentration, eyes riveted on her body. He moved his fingers faster and faster in her, sucked harder at her, and she rocked herself hard, hard, hard, gripping his head and gritting her teeth until he gave her a few final flicks of his tongue, pressed his fingers up even harder inside her and rubbed in a way that was almost torturous, then sucked at her clit. She fell over the edge with a cry, bucking up into him and he held onto her backside as she did, licking and licking at her as if he couldn’t get enough.

When she came down she sat up and grabbed at his sweater, pulling him down to her and kissing him roughly.

“I want to blow you now,” she whispered. “Let me suck you off.”

“Okay,” he replied, his voice tight. He sat up and quickly undid his belt and pants, and Jyn scrambled up, too. She tucked her hair back and bent down to him, sliding her mouth over his already rock-hard cock. He groaned and grabbed onto the armrest behind him with one hand.

“Yes,” he said, and he gently caressed her hair. “That feels really good.”

Jyn curled her hand around his base and pumped him as she sucked on him, working on his tip for a bit. Then she pulled off, swirled her hand around his tip, and added her second hand. He moaned and slid his fingers through her hair, and she lowered her mouth to him again. She took him all the way in, down, down to his base, and he released a loud groan and his fingers clawed at the back of her shirt. She slowly dragged her mouth up, then wrapped her hand around him again and worked him harder.

“You’re getting me so close,” he said, fingers still gripping her shirt. His body had curled in on itself, hunching over her.

Jyn went down to his base again, deep-throating him, and then she pulled back and sucked on his tip – over and over and putting more pressure on it, her hand working in conjunction with her mouth –

Cassian’s breath hitched and his hands balled up her shirt. His fingers dug into her back and she loved how rough he was and couldn’t believe how much she loved it. “I’m going to come,” he said through gritted teeth, and he stifled a groan as he did, spilling hot and hard into her mouth.

Afterward, they lay back and he just held her, pressing a kiss to her temple, and Jyn had no idea what was going on.

The mistletoe lay forgotten on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm planning on having an interlude or two before I update on Monday!
> 
> Interlude between this chapter and the next:  
> [There is No Peace on Earth with Toddlers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13024221)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn tries to figure things out with the help of Bodhi and Leia. The Andors and Ersos get together for Christmas Eve/Christmas Day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm…THIS got away from me. I’m late to update because I wasn’t, uh, *satisfied* with it, so I added in 2 ½ extra pages. You’ll see where.
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH to everyone still reading and kudosing and bookmarking and commenting and subscribing!!! :D <3

The text came on December 23.

_Do you want to go on a real, actual date?_

Jyn stared at it. She was on her break at the mall, and she had absolutely no idea what to do.

She texted Bodhi.

_Cassian just asked me out._

_Wait, what? What the hell is going on with you two?_

Jyn let out a breath. _I don’t honestly know._

_We’re getting coffee when your shift is over. You need to spill._

Jyn’s shift didn’t end for another two hours, and it felt like hell trying to get through them. She didn’t know what was going on with her and Cassian, either. She wished she knew. When they’d gone upstairs after…whatever it was that had happened on the loveseat…they’d been affectionate-ish and smiled and laughed with each other, and it had overall been pretty calm. They’d teased Kay for his methodical wrapping, shaken their heads at Baze for saying he hated all Christmas movies, and sided with Chirrut when he riled Baze up about the topic. Cassian kissed Jyn on the cheek when she got ready to leave, and that had been it.

Other than seeing him when she’d gone over to his house to help babysit his niece and nephew, she hadn’t contacted him, and he hadn’t contacted her.

Then this text came out of the blue.

Bodhi was waiting for her at Starbucks after her shift. He’d already gotten her beloved chestnut praline latte and a warm chocolate chip muffin.

“Thanks,” she said as she sat down and wrapped her fingers around the cup. She shook her head. “I don’t know what’s going on, Bodhi. I really, really don’t.”

“You guys were gone for an awful long time at that gift-wrapping party,” he said suspiciously. “ _What_ happened?”

“We really did go to get some wine – ”

“Right,” he interrupted doubtfully.

“ – and then Abuelita showed up and threw some mistletoe at us, and we _had_ to keep up appearances, and then it just…got away from us. We fooled around a bit.” Jyn shrugged. “We’re both just lonely and it’s been so long for me and probably long for him. When did he and Shelley break up?”

“Four months ago.”

“Has he seen anyone since?”

“Not that I know of.”

“It’s been six months since I’ve had sex, Bodhi. Four months for him. We _need_ each other. For now, I mean. After this is all over, we’ll go back to our normal lives.”

Bodhi nodded slowly. “All right. If you say so. But I saw the way you guys were looking at each other when you came back up. You were – dare I say it – _happy_.”

“Yeah, we’d just fooled around,” Jyn said flatly. “We were both feeling pretty good.”

“No, I mean…you were happy and joking and…you looked like a real couple. Even Cassian seemed happy, and he’s usual so dour.”

“Oh.” Once Jyn thought about it, Bodhi really was right. She shrugged again. “Well, it was an unusual evening for us.”

“Okay, then. Well, Christmas is coming up, and you guys are going to spend it together. I guess that’ll be the real test of how you guys really feel about each other.”

Jyn frowned. “There are no feelings involved. This is just a simple fake relationship for Abuelita, and hooking up.”

Bodhi looked at the ceiling and shook his head. “Sometimes I just don’t understand you, Jyn. I really, really don’t.”

#

Just because Jyn dressed in her best bra and panty set for Christmas with the Andors, that didn’t mean she was hoping to have a repeat of what happened at the gift-wrapping party. She simply…wanted to wear her very best for Christmas. It was _Christmas_ , for God’s sake!

 _So it’s not a big deal!_ she’d told herself as she’d slipped into her best cocktail dress – the one with the low neckline that showed off her breasts and all her curves. Anticipation already began to tingle in her body at the thought of Cassian’s mouth on hers and between her legs, and his fingers and his hands and –

Jyn closed her eyes and pressed her legs together. This. Wasn’t. Helping.

Leia Organa, Jyn’s other really good friend besides Bodhi, was doing her hair. The Ersos always stopped by to see the Organas during the holidays, and Leia usually worked her magic on Jyn’s hair. Leia was also usually a little bit trashed when she did it.

“I saw you guys at the buffet with Cassian’s grandma at the Christmas party,” Leia said as she stood behind Jyn, seated on a chair in her bathroom. “But I didn’t know what was going on. I never got a chance to talk to you.”

Jyn huffed. “I wish you’d been there. You could have talked a way out of it for me. You’ve got those diplomacy skills and all.”

“Mm, Cassian is pretty good at that stuff, too. If he couldn’t get around it, I wouldn’t be able to, either.” She twisted Jyn’s hair up and started pinning. “So if you really don’t like him, why are you hooking up with him?”

“I told you, we’re both – ”

“Lonely, right. That’s what you’re telling _everybody_. But usually you have to _like_ the person on _some_ level to want their fingers and mouth and man-parts in you.”

Jyn rolled her eyes. “I didn’t say I wanted his man-parts in me.”

Leia made a sound in the back of her throat and reached for her third glass of wine. “You didn’t have to. Face it: you want to fuck him. Bad.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“I _don’t_.”

“You _do_. Was he really so awful when you fooled around?”

“No,” Jyn said quietly, the memory floating back to her. “He was…he was really, really good. Attentive, generous…. He asked what I wanted. Brad never did that. Nor did any of my other boyfriends. I always thought Cassian was just this playboy, but he was really sweet.”

“I really think you have the wrong perception of him,” Leia said. “Although, everyone knows he’s an incredible lay. Like, rock-your-world lay. Like, once-you-fuck-him-you-don’t-want-to-stop lay.”

Jyn pulled away to look her friend in the eye. Leia looked completely unbothered by what she’d said. “You have a dirty mouth.”

Leia’s brows shot up. “Yeah? Sounds like your mouth was a little _dirty_ at the gift-wrapping party. Full of too much Kahlua and _cream_ , to be precise.”

Jyn groaned and rolled her eyes. Leia took a pull from her wine and set it back down on the countertop. She got foul when she drank.

“Please, Jyn,” Leia said flatly. “We all know you’re a complete sex kitten in the sack. Don’t try to cover it up with that innocent little act of yours. You have a chance to get in bed with _Cassian Andor_ , and you’re not even interested? Not even a little?”

“Well,” Jyn conceded, “maybe a little.”

“Jyn. I’m one of your best friends.” She took a loud sip of wine, her eyes never leaving Jyn’s face in the mirror. “With what happened between the two of you, and how quickly it happened, I bet he’s been thinking about it for a very long time. He probably jerked himself off to the thought of you or to your picture or something.”

“Jesus!” Jyn exclaimed. “Bring it down, will you?”

Leia sighed and put her wineglass back down. “I think you’re right about him being lonely. I think he’s been searching for the right person, and he just can’t find her. That’s why he hooks up. But,” Leia mused, “maybe he’s found her now.”

Jyn scoffed loudly. “Come on, Leia. I’m a _terrible_ match for Cassian.”

“All right,” Leia said in a tone that indicated she was just playing along. “If you say so. But you should have heard the things he said about Brad when he dumped you.”

“I did hear. He told me.”

“Right. He told you the nice stuff. But did you know that when he was out with Han and Kay and me one night, he got drunk and said he was going to make Brad pay?”

Jyn’s heart nearly stopped in her chest. “He told me he sabotaged Brad’s interview at his company.”

“Yeah. Why do you think he did that?”

“But he said…he said it had nothing to do with me.”

“Well, he lied.” Leia put in one final pin and stepped away. “There. You look beautiful. He won’t be able to resist.”

Jyn looked in the mirror. She _did_ look really pretty, with her hair done and makeup that Leia had applied. Leia met her eyes in the glass and put her hand on Jyn’s shoulder.

“Just…listen. My advice is to go with how you feel. You and Cassian are both hurting and confused. Do what feels right. Don’t think about the rest of it.”

“But it isn’t _real_ ,” Jyn breathed, and for some reason, she felt _tears_ prick her eyes?

“Well, that’s easy enough to change.” Leia shrugged. “If you want it to be.” She picked up her wineglass from the counter. “I’ve gotta get back downstairs. If I leave Han alone too long, he’ll get into the booze behind my back and be trashed before you can say ‘Rudolph.’”

#

Jyn had already known life was unfair. That had never been in question. When she saw Cassian dressed up for Christmas, smelling heavenly and looking divine, she thought it was really, _really_ unfair.

Suddenly, she realized what she had been feeling since she had last seen him.

She could name it.

It had a name.

She _missed_ him.

Cassian took Jyn’s hand and pulled her to his body, pressing a kiss to her hair. “Hello,” he said.

Jyn put her other palm on his chest and looked up at him. “Hi back,” she tried to say, but the words got stuck in her throat. The look in his eyes said he wanted to kiss her, but she was not going to let him. Not in front of everyone like this. They had to fake it, but they didn’t have to fake it _that_ much.

Jyn looked away. And stepped away.

The families ate dinner and too much dessert, drank eggnog spiked with rum, and chatted and laughed. This was the first time in years they’d all been able to get together for the holidays, and Jyn found she was having a wonderful time. All the other times they’d gotten together had been so awkward because of her bad relationship with Cassian, but this one was actually good. It was fun. His hand was on her knee at dinner. His arms were around her chest and she leaned back against his on the couch when they settled in to watch the George C. Scott version of _A Christmas Carol_. He kissed the top of her head and held her hand.

It all felt terribly natural, and it was so terribly awful that it did. Because it couldn’t, it _couldn’t_ be. He didn’t want it to be.

Did he?

Around one a.m., everyone started to nod off, and they decided it was time to go to bed. The Andors had plenty of rooms, and Jyn got ready in her own room, wishing…wishing….

Her phone buzzed as soon as she got under the covers. It was Cassian.

_I had a good night._

Jyn smiled and texted back. _Me too._

Then she hesitated, the smile faltering a bit. The screen went dark.

She settled her thumbs over the screen again. Typed another response. _I don’t want it to end._

His reply came right back. _Me neither. Give me a minute._

Jyn got out of bed and stumbled to the door, catching her foot on the carpet in her nervousness. She finger-combed her hair and her heart pounded as she waited awkwardly, clasping and unclasping her hands and shifting her weight around.

Soft footsteps padded down the hall only a short while later, and Cassian stepped into the room. He shut the door quietly behind him and immediately took her hands, stroking his thumbs gently over the backs. For a moment, they simply gazed at each other, watching, waiting, afraid to speak first, perhaps.

“Merry Christmas, Jyn,” Cassian said quietly. She smiled at him.

“Merry Christmas, Cassian,” she said.

“You looked beautiful tonight.”

“You looked nice, too.”

Cassian cupped Jyn’s face then, brushing his thumb along her cheekbone. “I’m sorry,” he said. “For everything that’s happened. In the past. That we’ve never gotten along. I can see now that I missed out on a good friend.”

“I didn’t help things much, either,” Jyn confessed. “I could have been better, too.”

He dropped his hand to hers again and clasped it, and his thumbs went back to stroking her hands. She was gripping his fingers too tight, and her hands were freezing cold.

“Nervous?” he asked.

“No,” she replied with a shake of her head, but an uncomfortable smile gave her away. “Maybe a little. You?”

Cassian smiled back and looked down, then took a slow, deep breath. “Jyn….”

“Just kiss me,” she said, and he did. His arms twined around her waist and pulled her up to him, and she laid her palms on the sides of his face and kissed him back, her tongue asking for entrance that he readily gave. Her nervousness fell away immediately, and her body took over for her much as it had that night on the loveseat. She pulled his t-shirt off over his head, maybe a little too forcefully, because he said,

“Slow down, slow down.”

“I can’t,” she replied. “I don’t want to.” Her hands ran up the sides of his body, which trembled at her touch. Already he was growing hard against her hip. “Are you really going to turn nice on me now?”

Her words flipped a switch in him, because he gathered her again to his body for a rough, deep kiss that sent her head spinning and brought her off her feet, before he set her back down and pushed her top off. For a moment he admired her lacy, satin bra, but then his fingers were inside a cup, pulling her breast out as he dipped his head to it. His tongue swept over the nipple just once before he took it into his mouth, and Jyn arched into him, pushing her breast deeper. Her fingers dragged at his back, her forehead falling to his shoulder.

Cassian reached around behind her to unclasp the bra, letting it fall to the ground. He took both breasts in hand as he kissed her again, and now he was fully hard against her, straining against the fabric of his pants. Her hand swept over him, and he gasped a little. She started to push his pants down.

“You first,” he said. “I can wait.”

Jyn wrapped her arms around his neck as he worked her own pajama bottoms down, his lips at her own neck. His hand immediately slid into her underwear and curved up to find her entrance, but he was too tall and she was too short. He withdrew his hand and they moved to the bed, where he lay back. Jyn climbed up with him, tucking her hair behind her ear as she bent to kiss him.

“Sit on me,” he breathed into her mouth, breath hot. He groaned when Jyn ground down against his arousal, but he said, “No. Up here,” and brushed her hair back. “You’re so beautiful, Jyn.”

Nervousness made her heart leap against her ribs. “I’ve never….”

“You don’t have to,” he said, but his voice was so ragged, so full of desire, and true, it wasn’t something Jyn had ever done before, but she wasn’t opposed to trying new things. Besides, the experience before had been explosive, and she’d been dying to have him go down on her again.

“Okay,” she said, her words against his mouth, too, and for a moment, they just exchanged kisses.

“I meant what I said earlier,” Cassian said. “I could go down on you all night. We don’t even have to have sex. I could just do that.”

“No.” Jyn paused, her lips hovering above his, and a small smile curved up her mouth. “Next time, maybe?”

Cassian hesitated, too. She couldn’t see his eyes – their faces were too close together – but he said, “Yes.”

He worked her underwear down past her hips, and she helped him the rest of the way. She felt vulnerable then, completely naked before him. She’d never felt that vulnerable with other partners. Why was Cassian so different? Because she’d known him so long?

Carefully, worried she’d do something embarrassing, Jyn moved up the bed so her body was closer to his face. He reached up to her bottom to pull her closer and position her.

Jyn waited, body shaking in anticipation. He had to be able to feel it. When she felt his tongue swipe her, she gasped and stuffed her fist into her mouth, embarrassed by her overreaction. He didn’t say anything, just kept going, licking her broadly. He tongued quickly at her clit, and she made a sound she didn’t even know she could make. For too long, he licked at her, and she needed something inside her. Just when she thought she was going to have to say something to him, he spoke.

“Open yourself for me.”

Hesitant – she’d never done _anything_ so exhibitionist like this before – she reached down with both hands and parted herself. Cassian sighed onto her skin and stroked his fingers down her, admiring her.

Almost worshiping her.

Jyn had never had anyone touch her like that before.

Her eyes closed and her head fell back, hair spilling down her back. “Put your fingers in me, Cassian,” she said on a sigh, desperate for the feeling, her mind in a place where she didn’t even feel part of the world, like it was just the two of them, just Jyn and Cassian.

He obeyed, sliding his thumb in up to the first joint, stretching her a bit, then pulling it out and slipping in a finger.

“Push down on me,” he said, and she did. His other hand pressed against her backside, pulling her again to him, and he sucked again at her clit. Jyn found herself getting into it more, hips pushing down onto his face, wanting more, more, more. Cassian’s finger moved in and out slowly, in a rhythm that was more for her enjoyment rather than about getting her to orgasm. But soon, the teasing was too much, and she began grinding on him harder, and he got the message. He increased his pace and his pressure, sucking deeper at her, fingering her harder, and finally, she felt the tingling of bliss just on the periphery of her senses. She took a breath in, focused, concentrated. It occurred to her that she might be hurting him or making him uncomfortable. Before she could ask, though, his fingers on her bottom dug into her flesh and held her firmly in place. The orgasm approached quicker and quicker as his tongue and lips furiously worked her up, and she felt like she was going to topple down and completely fall apart on top of him, with nothing to grab onto.

“Cassian,” she said, her voice high, the tone almost pained, “I’m going to come, but I can’t….” She shifted restlessly, desperate for something to hold as her body began to quake and she tried to hold the orgasm off.

“I’ve got you,” he said. “Come on me. Come on me, Jyn.”

Jyn still felt unbalanced, out of control, sweat breaking out on her forehead and chest as she held the pleasure off. But he knew what she was doing, knew that she was delaying, and his tongue swiped once up her before he gave her just one hard suck at her clit to finish her off, and she careened over the edge, crying out before she could stop herself.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered again as she came, and he held her upright while the exquisite pleasure burst through her.    

Jyn hadn’t even come down all the way yet before he gently turned them over so that he was on top. He began to take his pants and underwear off, and Jyn sat up to help him, still dizzy from pleasure. They moved backward on the bed so that she was lying on the pillows, and Cassian reached over to the nightstand and opened a drawer. He retrieved a condom and unrolled it over himself, then stretched out over her, one hand supporting his weight on the bed while the other guided himself quickly into her.

They both moaned at the same time. Cassian’s forehead dropped to her chest, and Jyn arched up to meet his body. Her hands pressed down on the bed, eyes closed as she savored the feeling, the feeling of him inside her, stretching her wide for him.

Damn, he felt _good_.

For a moment, they barely moved, relishing the sensation. Jyn’s head listed sideways onto the pillow, and Cassian pressed kisses to her exposed neck.

Then he began to move, his rhythm sweet and slow, and Jyn tingled and burned. She wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders. He stayed close to her, his body pressed against hers, his face next to hers on the pillow. When he lifted his head, it was to look at her, and Jyn looked back at him in wonder, her mind whirling at how things had changed in such a short amount of time. He was good, _so_ good, his cock the perfect size for her and rubbing just where she most loved it. She squeezed him tight and reached down between them to spread her fingers to either side of him. He groaned when he felt the extra pressure. The heel of her palm pressed down on her clit, and it helped her move closer to her peak.

He eased down to his elbows. “You’re so tight,” he said. A breath shuddered out of him and drifted over Jyn’s face. His hips drove into her, pushing him deeper. “Warm…” – he kissed her collarbone – “wet…” – he kissed her neck – “perfect.” He bent his head and took her nipple into his mouth and gently sucked, sighing again onto her skin. His hand cupped her breast as he sucked, and his fingers caressed the swell of it.

Jyn tilted her head back on the pillow. This all felt so amazing. Better than any sex she’d ever had. Those rumors were _right_. He was _good_. But she needed to come. Her arousal was out of control, too hot and intense, and she needed to come so badly. She’d thought about it day after day, thinking about him inside her, making love to her, and her body shuddering around his cock. She’d even gotten off to the thought once, coming so hard she’d had to muffle her sounds with her pillow.

Cassian’s hips picked up speed, his kissing rougher and deeper, and he shifted, gathering Jyn up in his arms and pulling her up with him so they were sitting together. She groaned as his cock pushed all the way up into her, deeper than before, and her head tipped back. Cassian kissed the hollow of her neck, murmuring her name, and tilted her head back to his shoulder with a gentle hand. Then his arms wrapped around her, and he moved slower, rocking them together, perfectly synchronized. She felt every thick inch of him, and she had to force herself to breathe deeply to get through every thrust. She looked down, saw him moving in and out of her, hard and slick with her arousal.

Cassian lay her down again, and Jyn was too high to keep going like this when he resumed his moderate pace. “Harder,” she said, and she cried out when his next thrust did just that, hitting her in a spot that made fireworks burst inside her. He moved faster and deeper, and sweat blossomed on his forehead. “I need to come.”

He didn’t speak, too focused. Instead, he crashed his lips to hers, moaning at the contact. Jyn was close, so close, but she held off, concentrating, wanting to come as hard as she had – harder, even – by herself.

She felt it. She felt it there, close, close, close –

“Oh, my God,” she said, eyes opening wide as she realized how powerful her orgasm was going to be. “Cassian…shit….”

“Come on,” he urged, and his rhythm was relentless and felt exquisite, too, and she was afraid she was going to lose the orgasm because how he felt thrusting over and over inside her was _too damn good_. “Come, Jyn,” he said. “God, I want you to come.”

 _“Fuck.”_ She braced her hands on the headboard behind her, meeting him thrust for thrust with her own hips, biting her lip. “Fuck, you’re good. You’re so good.”

He was driving so hard into her, she almost couldn’t handle it. The entire bed – a king – shook, and Jyn’s body was coated in a sheen of sweat. It was sex like she’d never experienced before. Oh, she’d had hard, fast, rough sex, but she’d never had the passion, the emotion, nothing like what she was experiencing with Cassian right now. The intensity was so much she felt like she was going to say something stupid, something crazy like _I love you_ , and she bit her lip harder. She was making obscene noises – he was, too – and repeating his name like she’d just heard it for the first time and it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever heard or said.

“Come on, Jyn,” he whispered, then nuzzled next to her ear. “I’ll come with you. Will it get you there if I tell you how much I’ve thought about you coming on me? If I tell you I got off thinking about you the night of the party?” Jyn moaned at his words, dirty and arousing at the same time. She was close, _so close_ , and any thrust could send her over the edge. “Next time, Jyn, I’m going to eat you out and make love to you till you come over and over and over – ”

“I’m going to,” she said, her eyes squeezed shut. “I’m so close…wait….”

“Me, too. I’m close, I’m really close.” His breathing, already tight and ragged, hitched even more as he lost all control despite trying to hold back for her. “ _Shit_ , I’m coming – ”

And he let out a groan, just as Jyn cried out, too, her own orgasm exploding inside her body and blanking her thoughts for a few seconds.

She’d never had a mutual orgasm before, and it blew her mind. It lasted and lasted, and she held on tight to him and felt his spasms, her body clutching his and never wanting to let go.

As she held him, as they rocked together while they slowly came down from ecstasy, lips bruising one another’s, Jyn knew that she was lost, and her heart was his, and that her body had been ahead of her: her heart never wanted to let go of him, either. Maybe she’d never disliked him. Maybe deep down, she’d always cared about him. She didn’t know. She didn’t care. All she knew right now was that this was _real_ , and Cassian had made love to her in a way that said he meant it, that it was real to him, too, and when he looked at her after it was over, his body still inside hers, she knew, without a doubt, that he absolutely felt the same as she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dirty Kahlua comment in honor of my girl [jenniferJun1per](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenniferjun1per/pseuds/jenniferjun1per) and her AMAZING [roommate AU](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12219207/chapters/27755334). <3
> 
> P.S. All right, so, I goofed on the condom thing. Initially, this scene took place in Cassian's room, but I thought it was a cheap move for him to be like, "ayyyy come down to my room and let's get it on" so I changed it to Jyn's room. A lovely nonnie asked me to write an extra scene where Abuelita sneaks condoms into the guest room, so it looks like that will be happening. :) Thanks, guys! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jyn and Cassian have to figure things out together. Someone has a crush on Bodhi. Abuelita says goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! Thank you so very, very much, everyone! I’ve had a blast doing this! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you and your families and friends! <3
> 
> P.S.: This first scene is dedicated to an awesome nonnie who sent me the following ask on Tumblr: "can we have an outtake of abuelita putting condoms in Jyn's room? because that's my headcanon on how there was condoms in a guest room ;D"
> 
> Thank you to everyone else who expressed concern over (and ideas for) the condoms being in that drawer. You guys cracked me up!! :D

Abuelita Andor had had a good life. Sure, her late seventies hadn’t been as much of a fiesta as her late sixties, and now that she was in her mid-eighties, things were going downhill faster than she would have liked. But when her time came, she would be happy, because she’d done everything she’d always wanted to do.

However, one thing she’d always wanted to do, but had not yet done, was cheer her damn _nieto_ up. It had been five years since she’d been back to the States, but she’d kept in regular communication with her family. She used the iPhone and the FaceTimes on it, and she even had an iPads. (Cassian had programmed it for her and set it up last time he’d been in Mexico. Personally, she thought these devices were nonsensical, but they were the only way she could keep in touch with her family. Abuelo was useless when it came to understanding how they worked, so it was up to her.) Cassian had been far too serious the last few years, and though he tried to play it off, Abuelita knew better. She knew people, and she knew he was unhappy. Her daughter-in-law said he had trouble finding the right girl, and that he worked a lot in an attempt to fill that void. He acted like his loneliness wasn’t a big deal, but it was. It really was.

 _What about that nice Jyn Erso girl?_ Abuelita always asked.

 _I don’t know,_ Maria would say. _They just don’t seem interested in one another. I think they’re just always going to be friends. That’s fine, though, don’t you think?_

Abuelita never answered that one.

On Christmas Eve, she reflected over the things that had happened during her visit. Jyn and Cassian appeared to be dating and getting closer every time she saw them. The mistletoe had been a nice touch (hadn’t it been so cute?). Cassian needn’t have been shy when he’d kissed his girlfriend, which was why Abuelita had told him to kiss her with _passion_ , like he _loved her_. Then he had, and she’d smiled and snuck away.

It had been a long time before he and Jyn had returned to gift-wrapping, both acting nonchalant.

Everyone knew better.

(Except Kay, maybe. Kay did not know better.)

 _Where’s the wine, Cassian?_ he’d asked. Of course he’d asked that.

On Christmas Eve, when the Andors and Ersos were settled in the living room watching _A Christmas Carol_ , Abuelita looked around at her family and friends in wonder. Maria and Javier were snuggled up together. Elena held Rodrigo and Sofia in both arms. Galen and Lyra were all nice and cozy. And Jyn and Cassian –

They were off in their own little world.

They were focused on the movie, but their fingers tangled together, stroked one another’s, delicately touched here and there. They were very still. It was like there was no one else in the room, and it was just them. Just Jyn and Cassian.

Abuelita excused herself and snuck away again.

She was good at sneaking.

It was rude, she knew, but she went up to Cassian’s old bedroom and poked around. His nightstand was the first place she went, and she found what she was looking for in the top drawer.

She arched a brow.

Abuelita had seen some things in her life, but never had she seen such a fancy condom collection. She didn’t need to be able to read English to know there were all manner of condoms in three different boxes in there. Really, wouldn’t one type have sufficed?

Apparently not for Cassian.

Abuelita snorted.

She’d given her own husband a run for his money, so there was no judgment to be had with her. Grabbing a few packets from the box with the brightest colors, she snuck down to the guest rooms and poked her head into each one. Jyn’s would be the one with only one bag. Tiptoeing into that room, she deposited the condoms in the nightstand.

Only to find there were already two there.

Had Jyn put them there, or had Cassian?

Abuelita chuckled to herself, and left the room.

* * *

Jyn woke to a bright room and the most comfortable bed imaginable. A soft, fluffy, down duvet covered her, and she was curled up tight.

She was also naked.

Blinking a few times, she squinted at the face lying on the pillow next to hers. Cassian. She knew what had happened the night before – it wasn’t as if it was some drunken hookup – but she wasn’t sure how to handle it in the light of day. Did she stay? Did she go?

Her emotions came rushing back, along with the thrill of the physicality of the act.

No. She needed to stay.

Cassian stirred, as if sensing that she was awake. His eyes opened slowly, and he gave her a lazy smile.

“Morning,” she mouthed.

“Morning,” he whispered back.

Jyn hesitated, afraid of scaring him off.

But she needn’t have. Cassian reached out under the covers and pulled her close to him, inhaling deeply and then letting the breath out, warm against her bare skin. Then he moved his lips to hers and kissed her gently, and Jyn allowed herself to get lost in his kiss again, and her body was alive with every part of her skin that touched his: her legs, her hips, her stomach, her breasts, her arms.

Cassian pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers. “When are we going on that date?” he asked.

Jyn smiled, and they just lay there, breathing together, and they said nothing, and it was a long time before they moved.

#

_All I want for Christmas is you._

It was a horrible, cheesy text, but it came when Jyn was packing up Santa’s North Pole Wonderland three days after Christmas. Christmas Day had been perfect, with opening presents, laughter, wonderful food, and holiday cheer. Jyn and Cassian didn’t even have to pretend. They just _were_. They were themselves, and Cassian snuggled so hard on Jyn that she wondered if this was the same Cassian who had appeared so cold to her all her life. He constantly pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair or shoulder. It was like he couldn’t get enough of her.

Truth be told, she couldn’t get enough of him, either. They escaped only once to make out, and Abuelita had caught them and cackled.

 _When/where?_ Jyn texted back with a smile.

“Ugh, gross, Jyn,” Bodhi complained from behind her.

“You didn’t have to volunteer to help Santa,” she snapped as she put her phone away.

“You’re in luuuurve,” he said. “We all knew you would be. Leia told me about your conversation.” He paused, and a slow smile – more of a smirk – curved up his lips. “Guess you got what you wanted.”

Jyn blushed furiously. “Candy Cane thinks you’re cute,” she said. Bodhi’s eyes went wide, and he looked around, pieces of an animatronic reindeer in his hand. The elf in question, a girl named Caroline, quickly looked away. “She was staring.”

Now it was Bodhi’s turn to redden. “No,” he said.

“C’mon, Bo,” Jyn said. “She’s really nice. If I can find a way to get along with Cassian Andor, you can find a way to say hi to Candy Cane. She’s really good with children.”

Bodhi dropped the reindeer and sidestepped behind Jyn. “Oh, God, Jyn, that just makes it worse,” he said.

“I meant she’s very sweet, not that you have to have five children with her.” Jyn nudged him. “Go on.”

“I don’t know what I’d even say.”

“‘Hi, I’m Bodhi. Want to have a cup of coffee with me?’ That’s it. Figure out the rest later.”

Bodhi gave a defeated sigh, then stepped out from where he was hiding behind Jyn. She smiled as he walked over to Caroline, who was just as shy as he was. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stuttered out his question to her. She said, “Yeah, sure!” way too loudly, then laughed at herself.

Jyn shook her head, still smiling, and her phone buzzed.

 _Tomorrow night?_ Cassian texted. _Thai again?_

 _Well, I can’t say no to Thai,_ Jyn texted back. _Pick me up in your fancy car at 6._

_Which car would you like?_

_The Infiniti SUV._

_The FX it is. See you then._

Jyn pocketed her phone, caught Bodhi’s terrified glance, and went back to packing up the fake snow.

#

As Jyn sipped at her Thai tea, she thought about how different things were in just a few short weeks. Cassian’s foot rested against hers under the table, and his hand laid on top of hers on the tablecloth. He was checking his email on his phone – after an apology – and Jyn was looking around the restaurant. Was _this_ going to be her life now? Fancy restaurants and cars and clothes and accessories and parties?

And…Cassian?

“I’m so sorry,” Cassian said again, putting the phone away. “Something came up.”

“It’s okay,” Jyn said with a smile and a squeeze of his hand. “I get it.”

Cassian pulled his hand and foot away, hunching over the table. “Jyn, um…. I wanted to talk to you because…well, we need to.”

Jyn’s chest seized up, and she hoped her face didn’t show it. He wasn’t meeting her eyes. He’d sent that _All I want for Christmas is you_ text, so…surely he wasn’t…cutting things off…?

Cassian’s eyes flicked up. He looked so _serious_. “I just want to know if this is what you truly want,” he said. “I’m kind of gone a lot, and I know your parents bring you along when they travel, too, and you’ve got your own career that you’re about to start.”

“Well,” Jyn said. “When I can find a job. I don’t know where that’ll be, though.”

Cassian reached out again for her hand. “I want this to work,” he said. “I don’t know how it will, but…I do want it to.”

Jyn smiled again. “I do, too, Cassian. I think if we try hard enough, it will.”

“I can cut down on my travel, or…I don’t know. I don’t really know what you want to do as a career…I don’t really know much about you, really….”

Jyn reached out for his other hand. “We need some time,” she said. “When do you travel next?”

“January twenty-third through the twenty-eighth. I’ll be in Denver.”

A crazy idea hit Jyn, and she shrugged. “I like Denver. Why don’t I come with you?”

Cassian cocked his head like that was totally nuts. “You’d really do that?”

Jyn shrugged again. “Why not? My parents took me to Denver once. I love it.”

A slow smile spread across Cassian’s face. “Okay.”

“And January twenty-third is far enough away. We can certainly get to know each other a little by then.”

Cassian interlaced his fingers with hers. “It’s a deal.”

#

Abuelita was leaving after New Year’s, so Jyn went over to the Andors’ to bid her farewell. She positively gloated when she saw Jyn and Cassian together, his arm around her waist.

Jyn watched Cassian’s face transform into one of shock when Abuelita started speaking. His arm dropped from her waist and he started gesticulating as he replied to his grandmother, his voice quickly raising.

Abuelita cackled and danced away, and Cassian turned to Jyn, looking furious.

“She set us up!” he said.

“What?”

“She said she knew we didn’t like each other and weren’t together, but she wanted us to be and knew we’d work out. She’s freaking psychic.”

Jyn frowned. “Psychic? Like for real or – ”

“ _Yes._ She knew _all along_ and she _planned this_.”

The horrified look on his face, Abuelita’s triumphant smile and laughter, the whole situation, it all made Jyn burst out laughing. She threw her arms around Cassian and laughed until she was sure she’d cry. Mrs. Andor tossed her a puzzled frown, but Jyn didn’t care. She just kept laughing.

“Happy New Year, Cassian,” she said with a smile, her hand laid across his cheek. “I have a feeling it will be a very, very good one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve intentionally left the timeline open a bit so that I can write Jyn and Cassian’s first real date. I didn’t get a chance to write the snowed-in one-shot earlier, so I’d like to do that with their first date. :)
> 
> I’m @thestarbirdfromtheashes on Tumblr! Thank you again!


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